Monday, August 28, 2006
Mrs. Howard M. Shum
Here’s a drawing of my future ex-wife Angelina Jolie. “How will that happen?” you ask. After viewing my debut feature film, Angelina would immediately want to meet the brilliant filmmaker behind such a visionary piece of work. Angelina falls passionately in love with me on first sight. We fly off to Sri Lanka to get married. Zahara and Shiloh think that I’m cool while Maddox shouts at me, “I don’t have to listen to you! You’re not my real daddy!” We then jet off to the Ukraine to adopt triplet orphan babies. On our way back from picking up the triplets, Angelina and I get into an argument about string theory and quantum physics. We stop in Mexico and she divorces me. She leaves me stranded, but luckily I manage to hitch a ride with Jessica Simpson who is in town for a Mensa meeting.